Going through lots of self-reflection these few days, reevaluating myself. It's kind of fluctuating actually. I just keep disappointing myself because I know I want to be a certain somewhere, but I'm not. Close, but not THERE. & it's extremely frustrating and demoralizing. Again, I begin questioning myself WHY am I even doing all these.

I'm surprised that anyone even bothered about how I felt, because honestly I think it wouldn't have mattered to anybody. I could've just kept it to myself, let it pass. Really appreciate the fact that anyone even cared to explain, because I know nobody owes me one. Decisions are decisions and they are made for a reason. & that fact that things have happened means something. Did the explanation change anything? Not really. Because well, like I said, decisions made were for a reason. I know the reason myself, very well. Also, it's not that I really think that I deserved it.

Really appreciating it though, people around me, sharing heartfelt thoughts with me and all that. It means a lot to me. & I'm humbled and thankful for that.

I want to be better.