Escape

Had an impromptu Ubin half-day getaway with Yj Clem & Sunny.

Perfect timing for this little getaway because I was so cooped up with all the things that are happening. Despite that, I was preoccupied with the thoughts of having a dance prac in the evening and kept keeping track of time so that I won't be late. Still, for a moment or two, I felt a certain sense of calmness and freedom.

Haven't partied since the start of 2013 (say what) and finally took time out to head to Zouk. Yes we actually had to TAKE TIME OUT. I'm not even kidding. There's no time to club. I am craving for more but virtually impossible to find time :(

Did a dance show where we got to eat awesome food, did a fairly simple routine, and got paid. ;)

Finally a closure to all hall dance commitments by performing our HOCC piece one last time at Cultural Night. I screwed up a fair bit because I wasn't mindful of the changes. A random classmate from my elective class who happened to go for the event actually came up to me and said "Hey I think I saw you at hall 8's cultural night. You were the one who danced wrongly at the end right" #fml. But OKAYYYYY.

Finally finally FINALLY met up with Raphael people. We used to have lunch and suppers every other day, every other week. What happened? :( All so caught up with our own things.

Also did a baby freeze for my intro to hiphop elective, which is a big feat for me. Tried this freeze a couple of times throughout my teenage years but have never succeeded BUT I DID IT!! *burst into tears of joy* When I excitedly announced this pleasant news to the boyfriend he simply went "Baby freeze only who cannot do." Meh. Encouraging much.

And the boyfriend is now blonde. Wait, WHO IS THIS GUY?

Honestly my insecurities are starting to bug me. I can't shake them off. Ugh.

Back to my astro notes. Cheers to being small speck of useless matter floating in the vast universe.

Struggling with body image

Some girls are just effortlessly petite and are born with high metabolism rates it's just so unfair. Everytime I look into the mirror I'm just like, why do I have to look like this? I used to be much thinner than my current size so I can't really embrace my body, although I've been my current size for about a year or two now. I really hate my frame and how big I look :( I've learnt to live with it though. I mean, I'm not exactly like whining about it everyday like I used to anymore. But 5 days of supper straight this week and I feel like a piece of gigantic lard. Why did I even allow it to happen. Was looking through Instagram and saw Rachew's picture of her abs after her workout plan and I've decided that I would go ahead and try that too. & it will start from today. (I've a feeling I'll give up after a few days but OKAY) Sigh so much hate for the world. SO UNFAIR.

Silly moments

xx

Quicksand

i've been overthinking about so many things lately. it's taking a toll on me. idk how to find release but to blog. i try to occupy myself with happy thoughts but it does not seem to be working.

please, just stay away. don't even harbour that thought. i get affected too easily by every single thing and it's tiring to care too much. when can i ever learn my lesson.

and there i go again, sinking into the quicksand. someone, anyone. help me?

Because I felt like it

I made a short video of a random Saturday. I love pictures. Videos, too. I love anything that allows me to look back and reminisce.

x

(on a very random note I CAN'T WAIT FOR IRON MAN 3 OMG OMGOMGOMGOMG)

We'll hide where love can save us

Irony is that we throw words of hate like a ticking grenade to the people we care most when caught in a moment of self-centredness. We raise our voices to close up the distance between but all it does is to push us further away. In this crossfire nobody emerges a winner, because what's left would just be bleeding souls and wounded hearts. But at the end of the day, a warm embrace is all it takes to melt everything away.

If our love is tragedy, why are you my remedy?If our love’s insanity, why are you my clarity?x

Yet another night of feeling upset about everything. What am I doing all these for? I'm just in a mess.

Dancetitude pracs are pouring in and instead of feeling happy that I'm taking part in it, I just keep thinking that I won't be able to do a good job. Gosh I know I'm really really lucky to get the first few choices on my list, and I really shouldn't ask for anything else. But I really feel lousy. Exact feeling I got after my locking+popping assessment the other day. Why am I even spending time on something that I'm not good at. (& then the inner me says: that is precisely why you should spend more time on it!)

But will it really pay off at the end of the day? Idk. I think the stress simply accumulated from HO till now and I didn't really get a chance to release all the pent up frustration or whatever emotions there is leftover. Having a fully packed recess week doesn't help either.

I really miss my friends.

unimportant replaceable incompetent cant help feeling small overwhelmed fearful fearful fearful weakling

AIYA KNNBCCB I JUST FEEL LIKE skglksdnglsnglnekgnlksnglknselnglknse lknBYE GONNA SLEEP IT OFF