Some nights

Xmas tree. Red green and champagne.

Molest is a crime, guys.

Mabbiebaby + Teh

P O I S O N E D

BBG.

Pretty Mingqi!

Karaoke with the babes.

Sup homiez. Playnation with these noobs. Heh.

Gougou says woof.

Horrible night with awesome people.

Celebrated Mart's 23rd!

Food to die for. I FUCKING MEAN IT. IT IS SO. SO. SOOOOO GOOD.

Riverside talks.

Walkway.

Like flowers, we bloom.

Under a mushroom pavillon at the Gardens.

My sexy friend.

How attractive.

Happy birthday old fart.

Reminds me of Avatar!

Bought him boxers and he wore it at MBS. Bravo.

Water show.

Lookie, bubbles!

xx

I have come to believe that normalcy doesn't exist. What defines 'normal'? We're a bunch of insane people pretending to fit in. I feel weirded out by myself.

It's a mad, mad world.

I'm wide awake. I can't recall why my kneecaps are bruised. It was such a weird night I don't even know where to begin with. Just felt a sudden surge of hate and despair merged into one. And it exploded without warning, triggered by everything that's happening around me. Next thing I know I'm covered in tears. People are volatile creatures. Everything is fleeting.

I was thinking about how ironic it was when I saw this old man jogging along the river, while we youngsters were binge drinking, and having one cigarette after another.

Honestly, alcohol can make things
1) bloody damn awesome
2) bloody damn bad

Some nights are good, some nights bad, some nights a mixture of both. Last night was just... Weird. Wondering when I'll get tired of this screwed up lifestyle. Feeling damn fucked up already.

Attachment

It's scary when you depend on someone too much, or get used to someone's presence. Nothing lasts forever. I don't want to expose myself, place myself in such vulnerability. What for? When you're willing to give everything you have, but end up covered in scars. Why would anyone be okay with that?

My scalp is flaking, skin tone's uneven and yellow-tanned, skin condition is bumpy. UGLY. This is what the camp + Krabi combo did to me, who is (quote XiaoNicz + Ryan) "As fair as a steam chicken".

Cranky, because school is starting really soon. Just wanna hurl profanities at anyone.

The only good thing that happened today was that I passed my FTT despite only studying for it the morning of the test itself.

Back from Krabi, back from HSS camp. Feeling extremely empty because of that. This entire week made me take a step back and appreciate the simple pleasures of life. The wonderful tiny things that connects people to people. A smile, a wave, little talks. The beauty of nature. The sun, sea, gentle waves, ripples on the river surface, etc. The world is an amazing place. We just often forget. It's amazing how one week can make such a huge difference. Now I recall how beautiful the world can be.  Thank you Black Jack, thank you HSS, thank you Raphael, thank you Mabel Yueli Estelli, thank you Krabi. :)

Hurricane

The week has been nothing but busy. Can't even figure out why. HSS camp tomorrow and I've yet to pack my bag. The lack of sleep is making me cranky. My skin is really horrible and I'm starting to hate my bare face. Confidence drops beneath ground level once I'm without make-up. Not that I pile on a lot of it - actually usually it's just eyebrow mascara and eyeliner. But it just makes hell lot of a difference to me. Speaking of it, though a trivial matter, this guy tried to chat me up while I was working. I just found it amusing because 1) I'm bare-faced and dressed in my worst attire 2) I haven't gotten cheesy chat-ups like these in a while (clubs excluded). Thank you, awkward stranger, for giving my self-esteem a tiny boost. At least got people want lah hor.

Shall update when I'm back from camp + Krabi!

(& I need weird things to stop happening to me. July has been a pretty bad month so far D:)

Waking eyes

Some mornings I wake up feeling grateful for everything I have. I get morning crankiness at times, but this morning I woke up feeling serene.

Indulged in a couple of peaceful melodies while I lazed. Weirdly, this weird sense of calm wasn't disrupted by the usual dread I have on a day where I have to work.

Course registration is finally over. As nonchalant as I normally am, I was actually rather worried about the entire thing. Simply because I knew that I knew too little about the whole course registration thing. Had work on the timeslot I'm supposed to register for my courses (great job, I chose the job slots on my own accord). Thankfully, Yihua and Andrew helped me out and got the core modules that I wanted. Hello, 4-day week! I've long weekends now. I'm gonna (try to) make good use of that. Hopefully I'll get the electives I want. There'll be no time for play the next semester. I think I've said this but I really, REALLY, and I mean REAAAALLY don't want summer break to end. Hating the inevitable.

Also really happy during work because there was strawberry flavoured yogurt. Yes. Easily satisfied when it comes to food. It was delightful. I refilled my cup about 10 times. Had it along with all my favourite toppings. Made me really happy for a while. ^^

Have also finished Fifty Shades of Grey. The book was kind of ridiculous, but I got quite emotionally attached to Ana (female lead character + story's pov) and actually cried at several parts of the book. Now, when was the last time I cried over a book/drama. Thinking back, I feel really stupid because the rational part of me is all like Ana's just a lame stupid bitch wtf is she doing just fucking move on with life already. Firstly, I don't believe in love at first sight. Love at first sight = cheap usage of the word 'love'. You can only develop a liking for someone at first sight, but not love. I believe that you can only learn to love someone after knowing them better. Anything before that is just liking, or like, a crush. Then again I'm jealous of how Ana could be so brave, treading dangerous waters, exploring the unknown, and having the sort of love that sweeps her off her feet. The tornado-like, passionate sort. I've never experienced that (and I guess I won't) but isn't it great to have something you go crazy about. Something that's out of your control. Something that can possibly bring you misery, paranoia, worrying, anxiety, but it doesn't matter because the amount of happiness you get outweighs all the bads. I would be lying if I said I wasn't envious. I would like to have my very own Grey too (minus the BDSM, tyvm). Well, back to reality. Gotta remind myself that it's just another fictional book. I used to be a hopeless romantic (rewind 3 years back and I would be like OMGGG they have to be together forevurrrr this is true love omg they have to be together no matter what it's so sweet) but now I'm just like, yeah omg I hope they can be together despite all the differences, but really...? CONFUSEDGIRL91.

Fuel's running low. Famished. Time to sleep it off.

Bonne nuit, babies.