First MJ class of the semester! So glad I went for it because the choreo was way better than what I expected. Well, we all know Pat's hard-hitting style and somewhat awkward steps that are so hard to execute. Today's was sleek and smooth, a joy to watch and to dance to.

Really humbled to get picked out by Pat for tonight's class. Honestly I did really normal -_- but I guess he wanted to give the "less-featured" people a little highlight. The first time I ever got selected was during my first junior class. Subsequently I'm just like... a flop all the time haha. I am secretly really afraid of doing groups during classes. I just find it super stressful. & I'm the sort who needs time to internalize movements and to feel comfortable with it. So I've always hated the part during classes where we have to take turns to execute the piece. I prefer standing in my little spot in a corner, just doing the dance however I want, dancing with everyone else.

But in any case, Pat commented that I really need to stop hiding at the back because he noticed that I always do, and he doesn't understand why I keep doing that since I can do the piece. & I guess... I'll try??? :\

In any case, it's ahbee's first class leading as a dance captain today. Very proud of him :) Could tell he was very nervous about it, but that means he's treating it very seriously. & that's good. I guess it's really stressful, to have the whole club to look up to and all that. But I know he'll do a really good job because he's awesome like that!

Really don't have much time with the boy this week, so I'm really cherishing whatever time I have with him.

Driving at 8am tomorrow. I must be nuts to have taken that slot.

Stepping out of my comfort zone, trying something new. Two years back I would have never thought I'd have the courage to do that. Thank you MJ, thank you Dancetitude. It feels like everything just strangely metamorphosised, & my heart of flame that's burning brighter, bigger. On to the next one, even if I'm gonna fail, even if I'm not "good enough". But because I am willing to try, it will be worth it. & doing it with the people I trust and love, nothing can beat that.

&... I am a really selfish, insecure person. I don't know what to do about it.

Heart

3rd vetting is over. My weekend was absolutely crazy, literally dancing my way through both days from 8am - 11pm. I know I'm not alone. It's so heartening to see everyone pushing so hard to make this concert awesome. I can't really feel my limbs now, my lower back is literally screaming at me to give it a break, my thighs are beyond sore, but I know at the end of the day it will be so worth it. Why we push, for our passion, for the love for dance that we all share, to create this beautiful piece of art.

I still remember the period where we first started counting down, 13 weeks. & it's just 12 days left now. Every single second counts. Looking at how all of us evolved - each item growing, taking shape, coming to live, the items turning into a real story, and how every single dancer grew - it's beyond amazing.

Really appreciate those moments where people came up to me and tell me how I improved, or how they liked which certain parts I did. It pushes me on. I know I can give more and I want to get better than this.

& honestly, I don't know if some of my (non-dancer) friends know what exactly this concert means to me. My entire life sort of revolves around it for the past couple months. I won't say I'm not disappointed for those who didn't even give a fuck about it when I approached them to ask if they want to watch it. Honestly, I'm rather angry (the least a friend could do is to reply my damn message). But I now know who cares and who don't, who matters and who don't.

Well, they're the ones who are missing out on a good show anyway.