This parasitic insecurity and inferiority that keeps clinging on to me whenever I feel a bit of happiness. I am this person now and it really sucks to be hurting all the time. & sometimes I just just wanna give up fighting and not fight at all. It's really hard fighting off all these insecurities because most days I just feel like a tiny speck of dust. It's such a battle. I want to tell myself that I'm better than that but each day it's just getting harder. I don't like any of this and my life would definitely be better off without all these. But like I said, it's parasitic. I want my happiness too. & I'm struggling to fight the vermin off. Yet today, I just feel like I can't do this.

I don't care.
I don't care.
I don't care.
I don't care.

I wish what you said was true.
But it's not.
& you don't feel that way.

I wanted to be better but it just seems like I'm deteriorating day after day.
Do you even understand?

I hate myself so much sometimes (yes, like an emo teenager.)

UGH.