2013'S BIGGEST REGRET

WHY DID I NOT GO FOR ZOUKOUT.

WHY.

WHY?!

Back from Batam trip that is sponsored by Estelli Pui Huannie Chiehling Mabz and Minipig, as my birthday present! Such a thoughtful bunch of friends, where to find :') Anyway it was a really short, but relaxing (to be specific it was more of lamnua) trip. Really enjoyed the nightly HTHTs, cheap thrills (70c donuts), and the seafood (!!! HIGHLIGHT).

Time to prepare for the upcoming 3 weeks to be spent in Korea and Taiwan! ^^ Can't wait! I'm really excited. The boyfie and I ended up trying our winter clothes in the room pretending it was cold HAHA.

I'm also very excited, but worried for hall dance. I don't know if it's bad luck or what, but Aizah Yanyan Shervon Ange, who were supposed to join us, no longer are. It's gonna be very hard but I hope everyone will just give their best.

Choreo-ed with Ahmeh for our segment. I'm more confident with choreographing now, and I think I actually enjoyed it! It's always fun choreographing with Ahmeh because we're both damn nonsense LOL. Boyfie said the piece was too hard for hall, but idk, I just hope it'll work. But he said that he was proud of me and praised the choreo, so I'm happy ^^

I've been thinking, do I really dance very kpop-ishly?! :( I don't know to think of it as a compliment or an insult... I just don't really like it when people say that to me. I mean, I've never really thought of that myself but I'm actually getting this sort of comments. Riana once told me it's a good thing because she it's very nice to watch but... I don't want to look kpop. I want to look... like whatever genre I'm doing. :\

Ah anyhoos... I feel like I can't dance sometimes. That I suck at it. Gah. Hate it. Want to be better.

Also, I'm sorry. I didn't think that I'm suffocating you with my expectations. I guess I was indirectly imposing them on you even if I didn't mean to. I'm just too emotional. I'd better keep it in mind. But it's true huh, things have changed. We have changed. I feel like such a failure.

Waddup it's my birthday

I used to be so happy every birthday. I'd treat it like it's the best day on earth, my favourite day of every year. But I think I've lost that thing for birthdays, since last year. It's just another day.

It's really touching though, to have friends and family giving me their best wishes. It really warms my heart. What good did I do to deserve all these nice people in my life. Yet, I do lose some. There are people I wish who'd talk to me, or give me their well wishes, but they decided not to this year. Sometimes I wanna keep everybody close, but I know now that it's not possible.

Speaking about cherishing, it's accomplishable, but perhaps not for me. I've realised it through these years. It's not easy, and I don't always say things these days. So I guess it's hard to let people know that they still have a special place in my heart. And also, how much can a heart contain?

I'm thankful though, for those who stuck through life with me.

My day has been great so far. Finally returned home last night after closing myself up in school to study for weeks. It feels liberating, that I'm finally free (temporarily). It feels great to be around my family.

Spent the evening with Psychos. It's awesome sharing this jubilation with them cos we struggled through exams tgth. A pity Yihua and Clement were sick though. I really appreciate them turning up even though they weren't in their best states. In fact I felt guilty as well. I hope they'll get well soon! Had the worst Mookata ever at MooJaa ( a big FUCK YOU for spoiling my perfect birthday dinner see you never ever) I've never tasted lousier tasting tomyum soup and the meat was of such B grade quality. But the night was eventually made better, in fact, perfect, by Paulaner's beer and the best red velvet cake I've ever had. Plus, the pretty night view by the river. That night view mildly reminded me of last year but that's that and I shouldn't go there.

Also, my dearest k44 Aizah and Ahmeh Candice took the time out to have a mini celebration with me in the room. I can't fully express my gratitude but I really feel so thankful to have them. They were stressed up and busy with exams but they still went ahead w getting me cupcakes. They're really the sweetest.

Also got to have Korean bbq with Aztec, since Joleen is back from Aussie. It's really fun hanging out with that nonsense bunch. They celebrated Bernard and my birthday, which I am really thankful for, considering the fact that I'm always MIA.

It feels incomplete that I don't have Lester by my side, since he still has one paper left tomorrow. I, too, feel guilty that I'm not with him to show him my support. But I hope he knows that I'm cheering him on, and that my welfare pack would keep him healthy and that he won't go hungry while studying.

I had a great day, and I ought to be satisfied.

Bye
X