I am fat

I don't know how I got this fat. Just weighed myself two days back. It isn't my peak but I want to be thin. Drowning in immense resentment. My thighs are fucking bulging, all thick and ugly. My arms are fucking flabby. My tummy isn't flat. Sometimes I just want to grab a knife and slice away those ugly things. I want to be happy and be satisfied with my body image but I don't think I would ever be. & I just do nothing, as usual. In fact I just bought a packet of Ruffles and am planning to gobble them up soon. What kind of fucked up person am I.