Paradox of Progress

The paradox of progress can be explained as the fact that there are great advancements in technology, medicine and communication etc over the past century but this has created more problems for people to deal with, instead of making life easier. higher economy and consumerism leads to more stress as people work more and society falls behind. As we move forward as a society we create more problems. this is the paradox.

So were people really happier, in the past? Where things were different? When they had less options? A place and time where there are less opportunity costs? Where one choice won't lead to the "sacrifice" of the many other options? Is it really better there? Why do people progress just to create more problems to solve? & when we solve them why do we not really remove the roots of the problems?

Just reading about this itself makes me feel extremely frustrated about life. Because people are just so damn fucking contradicting, insatiable, twisted, weird creatures. We always want things to be better but are never satisfied. "The grass is greener on the other side" just shows how fucked up people are isn't it.

I think I found it - the change in my personality, the reason why I'm getting less optimistic. My major. I didn't realize it myself but the textbook said it - psychology focuses a lot on the negative aspects of life. & it is so true. All we see are problems in people. Problems of so many kinds, and problems that keeps sprouting out, non-stop. They just keep adding on problems and diagnoses into the DSM. Who knows, maybe I'm ill too. After all being "abnormal" is just a point on the continuum, between two extreme ends on normality and abnormality. Honestly, all these are pretty interesting. I just hate it whenever it turns into a curriculum, a module where things have to be tested. I understand when I read and when you tell me about it I can go "Oh that's what it is, I know" but whenever the paper's infront of me I just can't do it. Because I don't actually really make the effort to memorize it. You can say I never ever internalized those information, because I don't.

God knows what I'm rambling on about. I'm just depressed after a long day, after taking two consecutive papers in a day. Screwed both of them up by the way. Just when I thought Korean level 2 could be my saving grace. Guess not.

Not like the remaining two modules are gonna help me. Think they're just gonna drag me further down into hell. & my brain's already telling me to give up already.

I think heart is getting murky. I'm harboring hate, dislikes, frustration, and all the blackish shit - I think cigarettes are healthier than all those negative thoughts.

"UGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH."

Okay not feeling any better.

Just gonna have the night to myself. Just one night. No alarms. Then I'll attempt to continue my futile fight against all the shit that's hurled onto my face. Yup.

Bye shitty world. & it's true. Sometimes I just want the world to end. Give me a day. To cleanse my thoughts and attempt to restore my faith in humanity.