Believe

With all my heart.

This club gave me so much, to mould me into who I am today. Without MJ, life would not be the same. I found so many great people through MJ, people that I know I can rely on for life. I've learnt so much thus far. True enough, there are moments I question why I hold on, when I actually feel very lonely at times - people leaving, people not sharing the same vision as I do, people not being grateful. But I did, because there are people who believe in the same thing as me, there are people who push me on when I feel like giving up, there are people who inspire me from time to time, and there are people who walk along with me. Candice, especially. She's been through everything with me through this whole journey. I'm getting a little emotional typing this post and tearing up like a wuss omg haha I didn't expect myself crying at all. Just, really, I'm so thankful for everything MJ has given me.

Last night, at the super 24 arena, I felt so much MJ pride bursting within me. Not just because of the placing, although that gave everything an extra boost - a confirmation of our efforts, an announcement to the world that MJ means something, that MJ can be awesome, that MJ is not just "safe", that MJ is stepping up our game. When Major Crew was announced defender of 2nd, and even when we were pushed down to 3rd place, I felt so much pride! Besides all these things, I saw everyone fighting, pushing, trying so hard to improve, to be their best. That alone meant so much.

& I'm thankful to have people who stuck through with me through this entire thing. People who believed that MJ could make it. I had my doubts too, I won't deny it. I was scared. But Shaz and Hazri had faith in me, faith in us. It feels super SHIOK (no better word) to know that people are on the same page as you, fighting TOGETHER. 

We have lost people along the way - I have lost so many comrades whom I thought would stick with me through everything, and they have their valid reasons to. It's disheartening at times, and I cry, sulk in the shower over it at times because I feel so much pity and heartache, as much as I pretend that it's okay. I wish they would come back to this big family and share that same fight one day. A family will always be a family.

I'm a little sad that Majestique didn't get into top 5, because I thought we might have stood a chance. That being said, I know Majestique made our mark in our own way yesterday. There are times I think "What if I chose Major Crew, what if insisted" - I am envious of their win, because I want to win too. My entire dance journey with MJ, I've never "won" anything. But heck, who says it's all about winning?! When I think of things like that I want to slap myself. Why did I dance - to enjoy it. Yes, I am hungry to improve, to strive, to win, but I have to see past all the placings and judging and see what I actually took away from the whole thing. I know I achieved something individually through Majestique. It did push me. Besides, this team is such a great team, I love how everyone is so awesome and fun! I love Majestique and I would do it with Majestique again if I could. :)

Just gotta strive harder, and improve, yet not overly stress myself out with expectations.

Can't wait to see MJ push ourselves further. I know we got this. I know I got this.

NTU MJ!!!!

xoxo