Bread.

Past relationships are like this - when a slice of bread with jam and another slice of bread with peanut butter is made into a sandwich, and when you decided to pry the two slices open - the bread is not longer a jam bread or a peanut butter bread, but one that is tainted. I wouldn't say that it's entirely true, but it's relatable, no?

I'm now a nutella bread that has met my other nutella half. But sometimes, just sometimes, I get reminded that before this, I've tainted other breads. Ugly, dark brown, tainted traces of nutella. The guilt swallows me whole. And I too, get reminded that however small they may be, I'm tainted with jam and peanut butter. & the taste of it is awful. I regret it.

And for even thinking about all this, I hate myself. Why dwell on peanut butters and jams when you are happy with the nutella you have? Let it go, they've been long enough. It's not like I'm not over those things. It's really not. But I just have moments where I hate myself for certain things that I've done wrong. I'd get really angry too, when I'm reminded that the other slice of nutella is in fact not purely made out of nutella either.

I guess it's hard to be a perfect sandwich.

Gosh I'm getting really random. Sorry, just being weird.

I feel like I'll never be able to make things right to some of those slices of peanut butter and jam breads and it'll always be a torn that pains me.