Yesterday was almost unbearable for me. I haven't felt this negative and helpless in a long long while. But as much as I want to escape, I wouldn't. I'd be letting myself down, letting others down. I don't know how I'm going to do it but I want to push through till the end. We are all in a really bad place now, but the only way we can get out of this pit hole, is up. We'll pull each other up.
Sometimes I don't even know what I'm clinging on for. But basing on the fact that I am still continuing to fight despite feeling fucked up, this really means something to me. (Cognitive approach of psychology AYYYYYYYY. Finally applying something from the textbooks.)
We hurt each other so much sometimes, and especially during times like this, it hurts. Like crazy. But I know it'll be worth it. Every time we reconcile, I just feel thankful to have you. Thanks for giving in to me. Also, the only way through this is to stand together. So yes, I won't back down.
I'm upset that our valentine's day picnic was canceled due to hall dance issues. Honestly, sometimes hall dance is just too fucked up. It's like ruining my life, sleep, our relationship, friendships, studies, etc. Okay that's besides the point. I was upset, and we both didn't have to mood to go for a picnic anymore. But I'm still glad we got to spend some time together. To take a halt. It was simple and nice.
& the rest of the Srethgie members, the thrash out session was gold. I liked how everyone poured their hearts out, although we were mostly in tears. But at least we felt something, we shared something. & this is enough to motivate me. I just feel very thankful to have Lester, Candice, Gloria. Also, the rest of the members who are all trying their very best to make it work.
Okay time to catch up with work. 2 mid term quizzes on next monday and no where near done.
x
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