One of my favourite songs from BoA.
Started working at a SME firm since last Thursday. First time working for a smaller firm, and it operates SOOO differently from larger firms (e.g. LTA/SPH). I would say I like the environment at the new company, people work together closely, everything is more individualised, I get to learn more and am exposed to different fields that I wasn't exposed to before - such as Real Estate, Advertising, Retail etc.
It is a great learning experience, an eye-opener for me. My contract ends next week, & I'm contemplating if I should stay or find a new job. There is this certain someone I do not like in the company, let's name the person ABC. I feel that ABC is causing me some sort of misery. Maybe I am exaggerating, but ever since I knew I had to handle stuff for ABC, I feel soooo moody.
I know that in the corporate world, survival is not easy. I am just a temporary admin assistant, a small fry in the company, doing all the tiny daily chores like filing, emailing yadda yadda, (those things that matter yet the big shots are too busy to handle), trying my best to gain something from it while waiting for uni to start. I know I have to try my best to meet ABC, or whoever else's expectation, and I sure do. I follow instructions, try to take note of what people say, etc. Yet whenever ABC comments on my work performance, I feel so tiny, so little, so unworthy, so insulted. I doubt myself, and feel that maybe I really am that ignorant as he said, that maybe I am that unworthy, that uncapable.
There are indeed great people in the company that influence me to work harder, learn more, but this ABC really gets on my nerves. I know I am just a small staff, probably insignificant, but I am trying my best to contribute to the company, despite it being only my fourth day at work today. But the treatment I get from ABC makes me feel that my best intentions are being trampled on the ground, right down to ground zero. ABC seems to talk in a way that belittles you. ABC is (in my opinion) mean, and I am not the first one who made that comment. Almost everyone in the office agrees that it is hard to work with ABC (from hear-say, not sure if it's accurate, but people bitch for a reason). I get scolded for things I didn't do wrongly. ABC is seriously bad at giving accurate instructions. & now I try to make it a point to double-check, double-confirm, and ask if the instructions are unclear.
I am a person who does not like people to
1) Overly control me
3) Malign me
I will get back at you if you do either one of this. I will not swallow these issues down if I really can't take it anymore. Meanwhile I am still trying to adjust to ABC's style of handling things, but I'm afraid I might reach my boiling point. There will definitely be people who comment "Oh you are such a spoilt princess, can't even take small hurdles. Get over it." Well, I just really don't like how ABC talks to me. I feel that I deserve respect, even though I am younger, inexperienced, and in a much lower position than ABC. It is hard for me to work under someone who is like that.
In the long run, if I am made to be permanently attached to ABC for work, I would probably suffer from depression and start to be really doubtful about everything. I do not want my job to bring negativities into my life. True enough, I want a job that can enrich me. But I don't need anybody who would bring so much negativities into my life to be within 100m radius proximity from me.
I'll have to consider taking up other jobs/try to get used to this job. Some deep pondering to do...
Deep at night, the moon may be the only source of light. That dim source of light, however, will remind us that the sun will eventually rise, peep through the clouds, and shine, lighting up our world, ever so bright.
It is rare for me to have such a rambly elaborate post on an issue, but yeah, that's just for now.
Good night, may tomorrow be a day filled with positivities. ^^
