i want to be skinny, just like other girls. i want bones. i want to look good in anything i wear. i want my collarbones to be seen. i want that gap between my thighs when i place my feet together. i want thin arms that i won't feel conscious about whenever i wear sleeveless tops. i want my hipbones to protrude. i hate my fat cheeks. i want to wear a fitting dress and not feel fat. i want to eat and not feel guilty afterwards. i hate my tummy. i hate my muscular calves. i hate how my thighs are big from dancing. i hate how i whine about how fat i am but still binge and then feel absolutely horrid about it after. i hate how i only put in so little effort to exercise and expect myself to look thin. who am i even kidding. i hate how i'm breaking out again. it reminds me of how ugly i am and how ugly i used to feel. i hate how my skin can no longer turn fair and i'm just like, yellow. i hate how other girls have nice hair. and mine's just ugly and flat, with all the grey hair. i hate how i look so old. i hate my nose. i hate it that i'm so hairy. i hate my small boobs. i hate it that i have no cheekbones. i want smaller shoulders so that i can feel more feminine. i dislike my huge hips and my big butt. i want to look approachable and not be judged as fierce or unfriendly all the time. i hate feeling ugly and insecure and small and not being good enough.