Right now I just picture myself growing old alone, because my heart can't let anyone in. Must be my ego. I've built a wall so high, so thick, I doubt anyone can break through. And why am I fat? I wish I could slice away all the meat that I don't want to see on me. & I wonder how long I can continue living like this. I feel really happy most of the time but sometimes I feel miserable. Something is fucked up within me. I want to spend time with my friends and have fun and that's all I want to do. I'm not ready to take up the world. Leave me alone. And I'm typing really random things that are completely incoherent but I can't give a fuck anymore because I just feel upset now. A moment ago I was really happy but now I'm just empty. It comes and goes. Might be because of my sprained fourth toe. It hurts like a bitch and I can't walk properly. Irks me how I get all affected by the smallest things. Weak. Fuck this shit.