Troublemaker

Sitting right under the aircon vent shivering at work. I obviously know I've to shift away but I simply refuse to, because I'm so used to sitting at that spot. Anywhere else and I don't feel safe. Just discomfort.

I'm led to believe that my life is taking a turn for the worse lately. Permanently short of cash. Got stood up twice for a job interview. No, not gonna reschedule. I'm not going back. The experience made me feel like I'm just another speck of insignificant dust in the universe. I don't wanna give anyone the opportunity to make me feel this small ever again. Got so pissed I kinda sobbed on the phone to M while eating wanton noodles alone. Almost died while learning driving. Not that I was a road hazard. I accelerated when the green arrow lit up, but this motor dashed out of no where. Thank god for brakes, I thought. AND FUCK YOU, MORON WHO DIDNT FOLLOW THE TRAFFIC RULES. You might not wanna live BUT IM ONLY 20 AND I DON'T PLAN TO DIE JUST YET. Not before I earn millions and marry TOP(delusional fan girl moment but you get the gist)! At work but I don't even hav a cent in my wallet to get food. I thought I was going on survive on cereals and yogurt (and shiver even more. You don't have a choice when you don't have money, do you?) but thank goodness my money is with clemmy and he's able to come over to pass me the cash. HURRAY TO THAT!!! I can't imagine not eating a single proper meal in a day. Also, I need a personal assistant. Agreed to takeover my colleague. FULL SHIFT (meaning 11am to 10pm). Then i realized Cherlyn's birthday celebration was TODAY, instead of 25th. I don't know what to say about myself sometimes. Ridiculously dumb and out of it sometimes.

& so I'm just staring at the aunties from the store opposite pile on (delicious looking) breads (of a wide variety) (that I love) (and want to eat) (but have no money to buy) and that makes me feel really hungry. And sad. Now I know how the malnourished third world kids feel. IM SORRY WO ZHI CUO LE. I'll save up. And I'll finish up all my food (kinda already doing that now. I actually finish my own food AND take other people's. So I guess that's that.)

Alright bye. Back to staring into blank space and feeling cold.
X